Making a Lasting Impression

I wanted to bring light to an organization, Fingerprints Across Africa, that seeks to help children, most of which are AIDS orphans and empower women across Africa.  Watch the video to see more about this organization and the great things they are doing to help the least of these.  To learn more about Fingerprints Across Africa click on the link.

A Different Perspective

Yesterday, we had another class to take for our state requirements.  The class was on grief and loss and was very interesting.  The Social Worker who led the class shared a story that really gave a different perspective and shed some light on what it would be like to be the adopted child being taken from everything they know to a whole new world.  Read on for the story:

November 1, 2006/Cynthia Hockman-Chupp

Imagine for a moment....

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by soul mate, for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man.

You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world the person who will be with you for the rest of your life. The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it's not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man?

Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back. . .even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him? Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it. More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried. The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy. The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to get along. You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.
How would each of us handle all these changes?

How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

 

Fall in Colorado

A couple weeks ago Dean and I decided to take a drive up to the mountains with the pups to see the fall colors.  The weather was great and the colors were beautiful.   It was also that time of the year when the elk are bugling so it was a perfect opportunity to see these beautiful creatures.  Below are some of the pictures of the beautiful scenery.

Rocky Mountain National Park

Dean driving...I get too distracted by the sights!

Enough from the backseat driver!

The girls love going to the mountains but were sad they had to enjoy most of it from the car.  Since the elk were out we didn't need them to go chasing after them!



Beautiful 6 point elk

More elk in the distance

I just love Colorado in the fall!

What's Been Happening?

Whew!  The last month has been really busy.  Where to begin with everything that has happened?

Earlier this month, we took a couple days off for a camping trip with Dean’s sister and her fiancé.  We had a fun time up near the Tin Cup area enjoying a little 4-wheeling and fishing.  We had a nice, relaxing time enjoying time in the beautiful mountains of Colorado.  It was great to get away even if it was only for a 4 day weekend. 

At the beginning of August we submitted our paperwork to our home study agency just say there was yet another mountain of paperwork, I actually think we have submitted mountains of paperwork that rival the Rocky Mountains! 

We have also signed up for education courses, set to begin in September.  The state of Colorado requires 24 hours of parental education courses for adoption.  Like I mentioned in a previous post, I think we will have our PhD in childcare by the end of this.  Some exciting news is that our we have completed our first 2 home study meetings.  The first entailed going through a lot of information on adoption, why we wanted to adopt, why the DRC, recommendations on what to do additional research on, resources available and then the home inspection.  I think we were super intimidated knowing there would be a home inspection.  Although, we live in a nice, safe, middle class neighborhood with a well taken care of home we were still intimidated by having someone come through and determine if our home environment would be safe enough for a child.  Needless to say, we worried excessively and shouldn’t have.  The inspection went very well and our social worker had no concerns with anything in our home. I have often times been referred to as an over thinker who tries to prepare for the worst, but I was pleasantly surprised with how things went.  Then that same week we had our second home study meeting.  In this meeting, I was interviewed in great detail and then Dean and I were interviewed together as a couple.  Again, this seemed to go fairly well.  It is a bit strange to be asked such personal questions by a stranger, but our social worker is very nice and friendly so it made what could be an uncomfortable process more relaxed.  Up next, our third home study meeting where Dean will be in the hot seat for his interview!  Going through the home study process really starts to make our adoption journey seem more real, it finally feels like we are making some headway in getting the ball rolling.  We continue to pray for the DRC and for the child that God has picked out for us.  We know that everything will happen in HIS perfect timing.

Tim the Tool Man Watch Out!

We are trying to get a few things around the house done in order to be proactive for the upcoming home study.  Dean worked tirelessly over the last couple weeks to complete the work on the back patio.  We re-landscaped our backyard and put in a brick patio a couple years ago, but the patio settled making parts of it uneven and we needed to complete the steps down to the yard.  So Dean strapped on his tool belt and worked hard to get it completed.  The finished product looks great. 

Next tasks on the Honey Do list- all COMPLETE!

ü  Install a new lighting fixture for the back patio

ü  Install large fire extinguisher

ü  Install new screen door (since Chardonnay our loveable yellow lab decided to push her way through the door to get inside)

ü  Install baby locks on the cabinets where the cleaning supplies and chemicals are housed

ü  Window well covers (ok, we had these professionally installed but Dean could have done it had he had a welder- or so he says!)

She looks guilty doesn't she?  She's the reason why we had to replace our screen door.

I am so thankful I have a husband who is handy around the house…now what else can I find that needs fixed?!

Back to School?

Our placing agency received our contract and all of the other mountains of paperwork we sent in, so the next step is to complete the education classes required.  I feel like I am back in school…ugh!  At least these courses are online, but I get rather sleepy trying to watch hours upon hours of 2 women talking.  I need something more exciting, perhaps throw in a loud noise like a firecracker to keep me awake or a short break for Angry Birds or a clip from The Office for a change of pace.  This stuff is pretty dry.

It is really amazing to see all of the hoops that adoptive parents have to go through to even be ‘qualified’ to adopt.  Our placing agency requires a certain number of courses to be completed and then the State of Colorado requires an additional 24 hours of classroom time.  By the end of this we should have our doctorate in parenting!

It is crazy to think that there are people out there who can just have babies without a second thought as to how they will afford them, take care of them and parent them. Come to think of it I am actually financially supporting many of these people’s kids through my taxes!

In the end, we know it will be worth it, it is just another step toward our dream of becoming parents.  We know that we will be better parents for taking these courses…they just need something to make it more interesting!

Our Needs Continue to be Met!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

God continues to answer our prayers.  When we started to really think seriously about adoption I was ready to jump right in but Dean on the other hand had a few reservations about how we were going to be able to afford adoption without going into major debt.  Totally understandable reservations, right?!  He is so logical sometimes (he may think he is logical all the time)!    I on the other hand kept thinking that it would work out one way or another because God has called us to go down this journey and would meet all of our needs. Although, my faith was tested when we encountered a significant financial speed bump with an incident to one of our vehicles, I should have known God was in control.   God showed his incredible love by providing a large chunk of the funds we would need for adoption.  But God didn’t stop there, this past weekend after having lunch with my parents they decided to pay for our home study and the immigration fees!  We can hardly believe how God is working in our lives and touching the hearts of others who feel called to help us bring our child (or possibly children) home.  I am always amazed by God’s perfect timing~ when we finally stopped worrying about the ‘how’ and put our trust in God, he proved to meet our needs.  We now have raised almost 2/3 of the cost for our adoption!

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalm 36:5